Video Script:
The people have spoken! OK, not all the people, but I’ve got quite a few people telling me that they really like it when I talk about Vintage adult games and mods. And you telling me this means a lot because, honestly, my largest viewing numbers is on things like Fallout 4 and Saints Row. But I prefer to do videos that get people talking rather than just looking. So let’s go way back to one of the kings of player produced content: The original DOOM games.
*Wayne’s World Flashback noises*
Back in the early days of id Software, they notice that players were trying to make custom levels and mods for Wolfenstein 3D. So when DOOM was being worked on, John Carmack designed the game to be added to by putting items like sprites, levels, and other data in a separate package, named “WAD” by Tom Hall, standing for “Where’s All the Data?”. This made it so the game could be added to without having to mess with the game engine itself. The idea of player created levels and mods was championed by Carmack, John Romero, and Tom Hall, but was not shared by all of id Software members. Regardless, it was a big hit with fans and new DOOM levels and full-on conversions are being made to this day. And, as I’ve said before, humans will add porn to just about anything and DOOM is no exception.
Booooobies!
Now, I found all of these at a specific archive on doomworld.com. Specifically www.doomworld.com/idgames/themes/x-rated/i_am_old_enough_to_look_at_this/. I’ve found some of these WADs mirrored in other places, but this is the most complete collection I’ve found. For playing them, I’m using GZDoom. Makes running the WADs a lot easier than the command lines we had to use back in the day.
BeelzeRog, can you explain what GZDoom is?
GZDoom is what is known as a source port, which allows games to be played on systems they were not originally compatible for, such as a DOS game being playable on a modern Windows, Linux, or Mac computers. It uses the original source to build the port.
It’s an upscaler, for lack of better wording.
It’s an updater.
Updater, OK
Because it makes it easier to run on current systems.
Gotcha
I had to do that same thing when I did my Duke Nukem (episode) because some of those mods required it to run.
Just asking for some of your viewers because they may not know.
Despite being picky about which ones I’m showing because some are broken and others are just not interesting at all, and all of them ended up being for DOOM II rather than the original DOOM game, I ended up with quite a list. So I’m going to split this up into three videos that will be spread out a bit, so you don’t end up with 3 DOOM videos in a row. The first video will be simple Texture Replacement WADs, which don’t change the levels, but change out some of the game textures and sounds, plus Add-On WADS, which add simple elements that can be used the original levels or player made ones. The second video will be of Player-Made Levels and the third video will be of total conversions, where so much has been changed that there is little to nothing left of the original DOOM game. All of these will be listed in chronological order.
First up is “PornDoom” by Don Edil & Jon Somodi back in 1994.
Oh, apologies if we do massacre your name.
This WAD replaces a handful of wall textures with some low resolution images, When I mean a handful, I mean only a few textures so there are some of the areas that may not get images at all.
Next up is “PD3D” by Matt Berseth (1995). While this one also replaces some of the texture images with porn images, it tends to be more of the floors and ceilings than walls. It also replaces the IMPs with female textures that are actually oversized and tend to break the ceilings.
Mmmm, clipping. I don’t like the whole female texture thing though, it feels a bit incel-ie. I don’t enjoy that one. If they had been more cartoonish, maybe, or something a little less obvious and oblique. Maybe dress the girls up in Nazi regalia or make them look like space alien naked girl instead of just Porn Chicks, ‘cause it just seems like you’re shooting a girl because she won’t sleep with you. That’s icky.
But they also shoot fireballs at you, you can’t leave them alone.
That’s what I’m saying, it’s a problem with the mod, not the game.
Add into that the exploding barrels now have oversized women’s bent-over butts as the standard image, but revert to standard barrel explosions when hit. Also, they have replaced a lot of the sound effects as well, some of which are too long.
“Porno7” by k.a. Phm (1995). This one I had a lot of debate about because this actually uses Map7 in “DOOM II” as it’s base, but adds in several touches such as an additional section with a stockpile of weapons and porn images on the walls. I decided to put it here since the list of Player-made levels were already rather long
Skipping ahead a year, creator Fi decided that PD3D needed some improvements and sent out her own version called “DOOMFi” (1996). While using some of PD3D’s textures, several more have been added in, including a very explicit skybox image. Fi also replaced the ass barrels with an image of her own, plus the Imps are now her own image, but still suffer from the same size problem.
“I grow large”
“Especially, in the morning”
Ha-Ha
There are also replacements for some of the fire lamps with Fi having sex with a Baron of Hell and other props with the Pink Demons violating her bent-over butt.
You know what’s so funny is, I love how pixelated these are because, I’m blind as a bat and I still gotta sit there and squint and, “Wha?”. She just looks like she’s trying to hug something. It’s really funny.
She also included the Shotgun Guys in Boxers from the NoPants WAD
That was a very nice addition. I did enjoy that one.
Last of our texture replacements is “ToonPorn” by Justin White (1998). This one mixes up a few live action images with mostly anime and a few western cartoon images, especially the kill count at the end of levels. Like “PornDoom”, because of only changing out specific textures, there are some areas where there are no images at all. Like PD3D, it replaces a lot of sound files with clips that probably made sense at the time, but also run too long.
Now we get to the add-ons that you can run with the regular levels or with some of these player-made ones.
“Vulgar” by Christopher Shanchez (1996) turns the DOOM chainsaw into a pulsing penis and changes the Demons into giant ambulating penises, complete with death animations.
Is this the one that had the adorable, cute running penises? Oh, my god, I want one of those as a plushie. It’s just.. it’s cuuute! It’s so adorable! If you could get one the size of, you know, a bodypillow and then cuddle up to it. They got.. they left the feet, they left the little demon feet. So you got the cock and balls and then the feet are on the balls and they’re running around. It really is cute, actually. It’s adorable. I want one.
It also replaces a lot of the text notifications for things like weapon and item pickups to “Your Girlfriend was Good” and other such sayings.
“DOOMUC” by CheapAlert (2005) lives up to it’s title of DOOM UnCut. This wad adds penises to some of the monsters, including the IMP and the Pink Demon. But a lot of these are unviewable because looking at most of the monsters for too long will get you killed.
It’s also another pixelation problem… ahhh…. we’re like “Is that a penis or, or, or did you try to put a vagina on that guy?” ‘cause I honestly can’t tell the difference.
“DPTZDEC” by RV-007 (2012) replaces the bullet holes stickers with Monster Girls, allowing you to spray the walls with different girls rather than bullet holes. It only works with weapons that actually produce bullets, so the energy weapons do cause the same type of splash.
So that is the list for texture replacements and add-ons for “DOOM II”. Stay tuned for the list of original fan-made levels and later the total conversions. Let us know what you think of these and any other suggestions you have. You can leave comments here or go to SubscribeStar.Adult/ beelzerog to give us money and have our undivided attention.
And say, let’s all get like a thing together so we could get a body-sized pillow plushies of the perambulating penis. Ambulatory penises with the cute little feetes.
I suddenly have merchandise ideas…
Ohhh, so cute!
Also check us out on social media, as we have added new accounts on other platforms that allow adult content like Tumblr as Twitter burns. Or SpicyGaming.net where some of our content is mirrored. And if you want to watch me play some of these games, check me out on Joystick.tv on Tuesdays.
At 8pm, Mountain Standard Time.
Later!
Bye!
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