BeelzeRog Adult Game Review 33: BoneCraft & BoneTown Fetish DLC
On January 13, 2025 by beelzerog
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Video Transcript:
If you didn’t know what you were in for with this game, it lets you know right up front. BoneCraft is a game by D-Dub Studio, best known for its open-world adult game, BoneTown. And while both of these games share common DNA, like the Torque game engine, some assets, and the same type of humor, they are two radically different games.
You play as Captain Fort Worth, the single-minded protagonist of this game. I use protagonist because he’s definitely not a hero. After getting blitzed on jet fuel, he drunkenly crashes his spaceship, the USS Longstreet, into an alien planet.
Rini: Okay, so Longstreet, is that a euphemism I’m not familiar with?
I have no idea.
Rini: Okay, you should look that up.
NOTE: The SS Longstreet was a WW2 freighter damaged on it’s 3rd trip and spent decades as a “Target Ship” for Naval munitions testing. It was named after the Confederate General James Longstreet.
Fortunately, this alien planet is inhabited, and soon the Captain, his second-in-command, Lubbock, and his crew of Space Wranglers are on the hunt for the greatest prize in the galaxy, elf pussy.
Rini: Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy. We’re just gonna sing that the whole entire time the word pussy comes up.
This game is obviously a mashup of Warcraft and StarCraft. From the Wranglers decked out in Terran space armor, to the orcs straight from Warcraft, and elves from every flavor from Bakshi to Link. The characters themselves have different personalities, either from various stereotypes to pop-culture references. Albeit from the early 2000s, which stands out when you hear the George W. Bush impression. Also makes sense because he was from Texas too, so…
Rini: Oh yeah, he was, wasn’t he?
From the onset, the game is obviously much more of a straight RPG third-person shooter with the ability to upgrade weapons and soldiers between missions, using the money you pick up from completing objectives as well as from the enemies you kill. This is also a much more linear game, with objectives after objectives following one after the other. Usually kill a certain number of enemies or collect a certain number of items, usually in three increasing levels of difficulty. The only time you have much free roam ability is if your character dies and you get to respawn in an area that will let you fight or fuck however much you want until you decide to start up the missions again.
You also have soldiers, the Wranglers, to command. You only have two options, stay around you and defend from attacks, or sending them out to engage enemies where they are at. They can be killed, though they do respawn after a significant amount of time. Fortunately, friendly fire is almost non-existent, though you can stun your sexbot.
Rini: Sexbots!
Unlike BoneTown, starting sex acts doesn’t give you any options of what to start with, but you can change positions as you go. Also, you can purchase more positions in the sex shop. You are also given an instant health regeneration, which involves zapping everyone around you when your kill counter is full and your health near empty. Your ammunition doubles as performance enhancers, much like the drugs in BoneTown.
To be completely honest, this was mostly a disappointing experience. Flaws in the BoneTown combat system ended up being amplified when placed in a linear, heavy combat game.
Rini: But it’s funny!
It is funny.
Rini: Pussy, pussy, pussy.
It was hard to keep track of targets, and the lack of any crosshairs or any other indicators made it difficult to hit certain targets. The system is slanted toward melee combat, as distant weapons require you to hold an extra button down to use. The number of missions made it seem like busywork to stretch gameplay out. This also made it difficult to get through the game without dialing the difficulty down to Easy. The jump from easy to medium is very noticeable. Just make sure to up the screen size and texture details, otherwise the screen gets too cluttered with the user interface.
Rini: Well, you know, you want it to look like, uh, potatoes.
Pussy potatoes.
Pussy, pussy, pussy…Potato.
Pussy, pussy, pussy…Potato.
I will say, at least the game doesn’t try to take itself seriously. Because if it did, Captain Worth would be completely insufferable. Unlike his BoneTown brethren, he doesn’t seem to have any redeeming values. Fortunately, almost no one else in the game does either. As others have pointed out, if you like the humor of the South Park games, like Stick of Truth, then this game should be right up your alley.
Rini: I thought it was funny.
The $15 price on Steam makes it an easy decision.
Meanwhile, there’s more to talk about with the new Kinks DLC that came down for BoneTown.
But first, I would like to thank SpicyGaming.net for hosting our videos. Or check us out on the PeerTube instance Spectra.video.
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With that out of the way, let’s get back to BoneTown, which has joined the Shady Corner family of games.
Rini: Oh, that’s nice, actually.
As the long-awaited Kink DLCs have dropped. These are also part of some new upgrades for Bone Town itself. The biggest is that you will now be given a quick overview of the areas you are entering, as well as the main objectives for that area. You also now have greater control over your avatar as well, as long as you’ve got the in-game cash.
For the Kink DLC, you can buy singular packs, themed gay, straight, lesbian, and BDSM, or just get the whole thing for a decent discount. And if you haven’t bought BoneTown on Steam yet, you can get everything for a pretty good discount on top of the other discounts.
These not only include new positions and combinations, but new areas that specialize in certain fetishes, like the Broken-Spoke gay bar.
Rini: Mmmmm.
The Cream-of-the-Crop Cream Pie Shop.
Rini: Mmmmm.
The futa girls in the Chicks with Dicks franchises in the Fill-‘er-Up gas stations.
Rini: Mmmmm.
The Planet-Fill-This gyms.
Rini: Oooh!
Which converts to a big beautiful woman nightclub in the evenings.
Rini: Oh yeah.
Five Dudes restaurants for those into gangbangs.
Rini: So that would be funny because I don’t like Five Guys burgers, and I don’t think they actually use real meat in their burgers, because it fucking doesn’t taste like meat. So I am not confident of the quality of meat at Five Dudes.
The city hospital Bone U Medical Center is available if you want to get it on with pregnant women.
Rini: Why would you want to do that?
It’s a fetish.
Rini: I thought, you know, at least you’d be banging Candy Stripers or something.
No.
Rini: So much sex. So much sex. So much sex. Anyways, go on…
The lesbian bar named the Bearded Clam.
Rini: See, that’s a great name for a bar.
As well as some hot BDSM action at the Gore House.
Rini: If they’re really going to do a Gore House, they could have Al and Tipper there.
Several of these include extra activities inside as well.
This was actually above and beyond what I expected for the Bone Town DLC. Each new building’s inside is filled to the brim with new art and layouts. Yes, the places with multiple locations are the same in each one, but honestly, most chain restaurants look the same no matter the location, so it’s not really a big deal. Plus, some of the places, like the Gore House, contain characters with special outfits. All of it well worth the cost of the DLC to make BoneTown even more alive.
Rini: I like that they did gay, straight, and a lot of other things. That was one of my big complaints about when we originally did the BoneTown review, was that it was all het. I was like, come on… They need to have other stuff, and they delivered, so good on them.
And Hod and the BoneTown crew aren’t finished yet, because they are now looking at adding a dating simulator to the game as well, including your own home to upgrade.
Rini: Oh, going in for the building.
So be sure to head down to BoneTown, all available on Steam, and also check out their Patreon if you want early access, and to help with beta testing, at patreon.com/bonetowngame
See y’all next time!
Rini: Bye!
Head on down, to Bone-Town!
Pussy! Pussy!
It’s a very musical episode…
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